Annunaki? Annunaki.

What would you say to me saying: I've been feeling my DNA progressively change over the course of a year.
But earlier...I felt a huge change.


It scared me.


I know I sound crazy.
But this is my blog and you don't have to read it if you happen to disagree.


I believe in aliens.
Furthermore, I believe I am a little something called a Starseed.
Think I'm crazy yet?


Through extensive meditation and so on, I managed to find out a lot more about myself than I ever thought humanly possible...or inhumanly possible(?).


I feel that I am from Orion, and I'm a Reptilian direct of the Annunaki.


Discuss.

Weight of the World.

I miss when everything was okay.
When I could wake up without regretting it.
When I could look outside and find beauty in everything.
I'm replused by everything, for almost a year now.
I want to be happy.
I want to go back to who I used to be.
I want everything to go back to normal.


I miss being a child.
I had nothing to worry about.
No one to worry about.
All I had to care about was how happy I was.
I didn't notice all the bad things going on around me.
I didn't know much about death.
I believed we'd all live forever.
I believed that everyone was happy.
I didn't know about war, natural disasters, poverty, murder, suicide...
I knew about happiness.


As an adult, I've grown so accustomed to these horrible things...
I've forgotten what it's like to be careless.
To be free.


Now I know about all these different problems.
I know about war, terrorism...
I know about murder, I know about suicide.
I know that no one will live forever.
I know that not everyone dies peacefully, or at the right time.
People steal, lie and hurt others.
Nobody really cares anymore, it seems.


Why does no one care?


I want to see the beauty of the world again.
As a child, I was in love with the stars and space.
I still am.
Is that the only remenet I have left of my childhood?
My childhood wasn't the best...but I'm talking before the age of five.
After I turned five, everything started going sour.
But I see now.
I see that no one in the entire world has it easy.
Not for very long, anyways...if ever.
I am thankful for the first few years of my life, when I was happy.


I can only hope that one day, I'll find pure happiness again.
Naturally, of course.


I want to, just for one day, forget about all the bad things.
And just know about the amazing things.
I want to see all the beautiful things of the world.
I want to feel euphoria.
Just once.


I want to know what it truly means to be completely and utterly happy.
I want to fend off this deep depression that I've faced since I was a small child.
I want the anxiety to disappear.
I want all my problems to just go away.
For just one day...just one.


Discuss.

We Are Who We Are.

I'd like to give you a look inside.
Find the core, kill the disease, break the solitude...
Death is a disease, just like any other.
And there's a cure.


There is a cure.


Question authority.
Question everything.
Why?


So many people die on a daily basis.
We are all suffering here.
Some more than others.
But we all have our own personal hell.
Whether it be hellish to some people, or none at all.
If it is to one person, it is to the world in their eyes.


I know how it is.
I pride myself on finding ways to fix everything.
Even though I know I cannot.
But I can try, and maybe...just maybe, I can succeed.


There is truth at the core of every lie.


The media blinds us from who we really are.
We are all God.
We all create.
We all destroy.
We have the ability to give life, as well as take it away.


I hope you question what I believe.
But I also hope you question what you believe.
We are all entitled to our own thoughts.
Some of us will use them in our lives, some of us will not.
But this life, this is the last for us all.
It is time to awaken and see what we all truly are.
Who we are.


For maybe we are not all from this planet.
Maybe not even from this era.
We are travelers, in one way or another.


It's time, my dears.
It's time to wake up.
Wake up.


The sun is up.
The stars may even remain.
No more reflections.


Just truth.
Lift the veil and you'll see.
We are all slaves to humanity.
It's time to break free.
Wake up!


Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up...
And listen.




Discuss.

Cure My Tragedy: My Letter to God.

I have nothing left.
I'm nothing to myself or anyone else.
All I ever do is fuck up.
I'm the biggest piece of shit on the planet.
I've lost the one person that I thought would always be there.
I've lost all I've ever had.
There's nothing left now.
Everything is broken.
There is no beauty in anything.
Nothing matters.
Nothing matters.
Nothing matters.
Nothing matters.
Nothinf mater.
Nothifnd ufghdfhj.
Nohijsdfdj jdfhdj f.


Nothing.


It's gone.
My life no longer holds meaning.
I feel more dead inside than ever before.
I am a creation of destruction.


There is no god.
There can't be.
And if there is, he abandoned me long ago.
No god would take away someone's everything.
Especially not after taking the two things that meant the most.
I have accepted that I am alone.
I have been abandoned.
And there is no turning back.
I can't change the past.
I cannot make things right.


I am the lowest of the low.
If you don't believe me, you will see one day.
I am nothing.
I have nothing.


Turn back time.
Turn back time.
Turn back time.
Turn back life...


Diesease > Control.
Death > Life.
Despair > Hope.
Torment > Peace.


The world is shit.
I fit in well.
I am the face of destruction.
I am Death.
Will we pay for what we've done?
I have been paying.
I am paying.
My dues are far from paid.
And my life ended years ago.


Wake me when the world ends.
Tell me when everything is over.
Show me how to die.
I can't learn to live.
We can't find the meaning of life, because there is none.

Discuss.

I am the Night.

Welcome to the end of the world, my loves.
This is where we will fall apart, into the waves of the dark.
I am the night, I am the end.
I will always be the critically acclaimed demise of our time.


Today I will tell you of my being.
Reptilian, in all sense.
Emotions are a lie.
Love is a chemical emotion that the brain releases.
And it can be blocked.
And I have blocked it with ease.
Considering my incapability to feel human emotion.


I sound crazy.
And maybe I am.
And if I am, I am not ashamed.


Emotions will kill you in the end.

We are death.
























Discuss.

Bittersweet Memories Regarding the Loss of Love.

I want to destroy you. I want to watch you burn. I want to see your flesh decay. I want to feel your suffering. I hope you choke on the lies your spilled from that pretty little mouth of yours. You will die, and I will live. That's the way this kind of thing goes. You're pathetic. You're a liar. You'll never change. I will forever love you. And I will forever hate you. You destroy everything you touch. You are a criminal among many. I want you out of my head. I want you out of my life...you pathetic excuse for a man. You killed my heart.


There's a hole where my heart should be. I cannot feel human emotion anymore. So maybe you saved me.


Or maybe you broke me far beyond repair.


Discuss.

Timeline of Dread.

(finally finished!)
1:12 AM 14/6/2011
Timeline of Dread


I can't remember what I can't forget
All all the things you said, remain in my head
I try to forget, but still I think of you instead
It's breaking me down, as I lay here in my bed


I don't want to know who I am
I make myself dream about the end
And my heart beats faster, and I can't get you out of my head
My heart is filled with dread
All I can understand is the pain of everything I despise
Please love, take off this disguise...


I'm falling quickly, and I'm losing touch in my head...
I wish I could forget you, all this pain, all this dread
I lost myself in thoughts of you
You stole from me, all that I ever was, that much is true


I don't want to know who I am
I make myself dream about the end
And my heart beats faster, and I can't get you out of my head
My heart is filled with dread
All I can understand is the pain of everything I despise
Please love, take off this disguise...


I'm losing you...I can't remember the feel of your skin
Losing you is saving me from all these horrid sins...
And in the night, you are no longer a craving
A life worth living, is a life worth saving


And in the end, I forgot your name
Your face is gone and I'm completely sane